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. hey how are you? That's great . . la, la, la. "LOL, get what I mean? It's a head space, it's an attitude of"la, la, la, everything's great. "That's how you'll maintain your dignity here and how you'll look composed and under control to him. That's how you'll come off, so he doesn't think you're stalking him or pursuing him or anything. Basically, you act like a man here. Like,"Hey, nice to see you! Ok, gotta run. " Because I don't think that's what he'll be expecting. And if he sees that, he may think,"Hmm, maybe I was wrong? Maybe it's ok to have coffee. "But if this doesn't work, laugh it off and move on. It's not worth getting upset over. And if it wasn't meant to be, that's because your guy is still out there somewhere is all. LOL! Thank you : I can do all of that! Am having fits of laughter over the la la la! But yes it sure does make sense to keep it as it was. Next time I see him will most probably be when uni starts back, like March next year so there will be heaps of lovely time in between that I don't look desperate in, and hopefully with the right attitude by then my slip up would have to appear much more like its no biggie to me in his eyes. Oh geez, it does not pay to lead! Thank you for reassuring me that I wasn't overly the aggressor. Didn't feel that way, but I do now feel the need to save my little face and the time gap might help me there somewhat. I don't think I'll hear anything before then, he'll still be headed for the hills probly, but if I do, will also keep it light. I'll be like Mary in There's Something About Mary LOL! Guess I better get amongst it a bit more too or I'll be thinking too much about it. And you know, my worth is kicking in some more thanks to you, and I just think I'll own that attitude for absolute real! When you walk through some pain, you owe yourself a laugh I reckon : You are the best! You cannot succeed without the risk of failure, you cannot have a voice without the risk of criticism and you cannot love without the risk of loss .
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They're just not being raised like that
anymore unfortunately and there aren't good men in their life for lots of them, to teach them how to be a real man. Just my two cents on that. But as a result, it's very
necessary to"filter" nowadays. To qualify a man. And by that, I mean . . . up. ” Pick me up please. Really, that’s what you’re shooting for here? A pickup, a hook up? Behave like that and that’s indeed what you’ll get . .
Nice guys with good intentions call, show interest, ask for dates, call when they say they will after dating begins nice guys follow through. And if a man is so backwards or introverted that he can't come to do this eventually, then as much as I hate to say it, the old saying that nice guys finish last will apply to him. Women will not find his lack of confidence as a man attractive in the long run. Much like men find a woman's aggressive nature to be a real turn off in the long run. Maybe not the way it should be, but the reality of how it is. This article is in no way, shape or form a war tactic and it has nothing to do with controlling the other individual in the situation. It's to keep the woman from giving herself away. It's to keep the woman's emotions in control. It's about controlling yourself, not the other individual. It's never a good idea for a woman to chase a man or pursue him in my opinion. And it's never a good idea for her to give herself away, all up front, without the man investing anything. It may not seem fair, but let's face it, that's the way Mother Nature has set it up, not me. Men lead, women submit. And to turn that natural fact upside down on it's head i. e. woman leads, man submits is never a good idea in my opinion. Read the hundreds of comments and stories here from women who have been doing just that and you might understand why I personally feel that way. You respectfully have the right to disagree with me, but those are Mother Natures natural gender roles. And all I'm suggesting is that women tap into their feminine side more and drop the aggressiveness that's sending men running scared from their tight grips. In either case, great discussion, nice points and lots of thought provoking stuff. Thanks for contributing! Hi M. o. A ! Thanks ! your writing style is ace and you have really helped me tough out the last couple of days! So true what you say about controlling yourself. I saw a guy a few times a few weeks ago and fell hard. things seemed possibly great then nothing! I haven't dated in ages and was totally unprepared I hadn't thought about rules or the slightest game plan . I certainly wasn't ready for the pain of meeting someone I really liked who then shattered my carefreeness. I have been reading every dating article in sight for advice yours is without a doubt the best at helping me hold off from contacting him. 3 weeks later he writes to me. ego boost check in I'm guessing. telling meas you predict where he has been. but not asking to see me.